It would please me to introduce myself to you, yet if I told you the truth I am sure you would never believe me.

Je m’appelle Rodney Robert Ebanks, I am a liar who tells the truth and a thief who has never found true value from stealing.

I lack morals and have no conscience: meaning who I am is for the most capricious of reasons.

Of all my sins I have only ever found regret in my adoration of a girl.

…

If I could be making love to you, none of this would be happening.

What more could you need to know?